One more sleep ’til Christmas! I’m only a little excited. For those of you who are trapped at work, suffering under the thumb of capitalist tyranny, I give you this festive Friday Five as my holiday gift to you.
1) Christmas Cards! Okay, so it’s a little late to be sending them in the mail, but who sends actual mail anymore anyways? Head on over to googleblackchristmas.com and make a mad libs-style Christmas card made up entirely of the blacklisted words from Google. You might not want to send this to your boss. Or your mom.
2) Last minute gift giving! You know who you are. You’re stuck in the office and will be running around in a crazed frenzy trying to find gifts over the lunch hour. Here’s some brilliant last minute gift ideas for you: make a holiday music mix with videos ripped from youtube (you can do this while you’re still at the office!), give the gift of no-fuss computer back up to your less tech-saavy loved ones, buy your transit-relient buddies an iTunes gift certificate for Next Stop, or if you’re really hard-up for an idea…just put your dick in a box.
3) Christmas photos! We’ve all been there – as the token “artistic” family member, or worse, the one with professional training, you walk in the door on Christmas morning and the camera is shoved into your hand with the assurance, “your pictures will be so much better than mine!”. Instead of grumbling about it, why not embrace your newfound job? Create Divine Composition with Fibonacci’s Rule of Thirds, learn how to light glasses properly, or give freelensing a try.
4) Brush up on some classics! Enjoy some holiday stories being told in a non-traditional way. The nativity story told via social media (Mary has an iPhone!), Calgary mayor Naheed Nenshi reading The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, or John Malkovich reading The Night Before Christmas on SNL.
5) Christmas grab bag! 12 ways to decompress after high stress from zen habits, what’s an atheist to do on Christmas? from the National Post, reindeer get high on magic mushrooms from Huff Po, do a jigsaw puzzle over at The New Yorker, and Gizmodo asks, “are gift cards really a good gift?“.
That’s it, that’s all. Have a very, very merry Christmas! Here’s hoping your turkey is moist, your relatives be fairly sober, and your butt still fit into those classy velvet holiday pants. And if you’re not getting festive this weekend, at least take advantage of all of the discounted chocolate on Boxing Day. I’ll see you back here on New Years Eve for a very special Friday Five Year in Review!